The Beauties & The Beasts #15

PATHOS Penpal Project

Deutsch-Amerikanischer Briefaustausch zwischen Antigone Akgün (DE) und John L. Peacock (USA)

Im Rahmen der Reihe «King Kong und die weissen Frauen»


Dear Jon,

We have been writing letters to each other for almost half a year now and I still can’t share anything exciting with you: No fabulous encounters, no funny activities, no exclusive experiences. I can’t even share everyday things with you: no visit to a lazy café, no champagne overload after a show at the theater, no bankruptcy due to analog shopping. I live in a relationship with my computer and as rapidly as Corona mutants triple, I don’t see any separation from my little keyboard coming …
In contrast to the eternally stagnant Corona frustration is my eternally out of balance work/life situation. Or rather: Corona tricked me and I thought nothing more would come this year. And there won’t be much more. But tell that to the human genius who, fighting against reality, thought: let’s go into an overproduction of art. Art that no one will see, art that will be frozen, art that will appear on the Retina display at all. And so I keep working and I can’t follow along. People talk too much. Zoom is half my life. Every day I sit there for hours and hours listening to a future being planned that is more uncertain than ever. But will I get paid if the future shows a different face than the one we planned? No one can answer that question for me. And so I continue listening to how things are planned and thought and spun in break-out rooms. And at some point, when the back of my laptop is already sunburned, I realize: I have wasted a day listening and the list of real obligations to be carried out is getting longer and longer. So I sit there until deep in the night and try to save what I can. I give the remaining twenty percent and am annoyed afterwards because I always knew that it was eighty percent less. And so time passes and we were in January and suddenly almost in April.
Today, as I write to you, I am particularly annoyed by this situation. Other days I turn off my brain and trust that the lifeline has some meaning I may be too stupid for. I who appear in the continuum of time, smaller than an ant. Hello nihilism.
I hope you are well and have some news for me and our readers ….

Best,

Antigone

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